Pretty much daily I find myself in a huge swirl of thought as I entertain the 'Consequence in the Sequence' and the 'Sequence in the Consequence'. There are few things I take lightly because I know any day now I could turn to Light and leave the planet because my work would be done. For this reason there are plenty of things that do not matter one iota to me, that are a big deal to others. Big or small, whatever it is, to me or someone else, the consequence in the sequence begins and vice versa.
Note that consequence by definition means a result or effect of an action or condition. The consequence is not necessarily Good and not necessarily bad. It just is, as a result of what was. We typically think negatively of the word 'consequence'. I'm unsure why that is, we just do. So depending on our 'free will' and the 'choices' we make, that will determine the consequences and sequences from that moment forward.
It is interesting how one tiny little thought can cause one individual to act or react in a certain way, that will impact or influence another individual to act or react in such a way, that they in turn will share their action or reaction (intentionally or unintentionally) with someone else (or others), which turns into a chain of reactions in the 'Emotional Chemistry of Life' that is unstoppable. Gossip occurs in this way.
I enjoy entertaining my own 'train of thought' and how I arrived THERE or entertaining my own 'train of existence' and how I arrived HERE.
Recently I was reminded of someone's birthday who literally changed my Life. Had I not met this person at all, my journey would surely be different. I met this person in the 8th grade at a party in 1975. Fast forward to now, that chain of events unfolded in such a way that I ended up where I am today. But when I reflect a little deeper on this chain of events, what really set this whole sequence into motion? Maybe it was my birth and not necessarily one certain thing or that night in 1975. Maybe I was going to end up here anyway, but I had the 'free will' to choose how it would all occur. Meeting this person created meeting other people that surely impacted my Life in such a way that it would have turned out differently had I not met this person at all.
Going back in time to that 'party in 1975' and then traveling at lightning speed to this morning has caused me to realize a few things. My choices from that evening forward literally set-me-up in my current 'availability factor' to be where I am this very minute.
Fast forward to present day Loretta as my Life shows up today. Every single day yogi's file into this yoga studio trusting myself and the people who I deliberately chose with my 'free will' to lead the yogi's through a heart-felt and meaningful yoga practice.
Most of the time I am here from 4:45 AM until sometimes 8:45 PM. And I'm here on the weekends pretty much half the day beginning at 6:30 AM until before Noon.
At first people were telling me not to get burned out ... don't get too tired ... and don't ... whatever.
As I have watched the yogi's come and go daily, I have been thunderstruck and awestruck by the lives they lead. How they make time to be here in the busy-ness of their lives is nothing short of impressive. What they are juggling on a daily basis, I can hardly believe - kids, babies, teenagers, relationships, marriages, friendships, sports, jobs, careers, illnesses, injuries, recovery, parents, school, emotions, PTSD and more. These yogi's have full time jobs, part-time jobs, school (teaching it or studying for it) and then they have to cook, clean, do laundry, celebrate something (birthday, wedding, anniversary), picking up or dropping off at the dry cleaners and grocery shopping. Then they get up and do it all again tomorrow. How they have the energy to show up here on their mat is beyond me.
And people think I have energy? In my world, I am not juggling even close to what they are. Because of that choice I made in 1975, in 8th grade, at a party, my Life looks the way that it does today.
That was the night I met my former husband, the first one, my daughter's father. And so the sequence began and the consequences from that decision rolled themselves out with it. Or . . . the consequence rolled out and a thousand set of sequences began. God only knows. And I mean that literally, only God knows. I wonder what decisions I made that were based on that decision, that night in 1975, when I walked up to him and said, "Hi".
After we graduated from high school, we married a year later. Thirteen (13) months later we had my daughter. I could not get pregnant fast enough. I was very clear that I wanted to be as young as possible with my child. I remember stating that I wanted to be in my late 30's when my child graduated from high school. I was as deliberate and intentional about my choice as I could be. I didn't want to be a teenage mother and I didn't want to be an unwed mother, but I knew I wanted to be a young mother. I absolutely remember wanting a child, but at the same time wanting my freedom (empty nest), and the quickest way to have both, was to have a child early and I could have my freedom early in my late 30's. That was deep thinking for a 20 year-old, but that was exactly what was going through my head. My daughter could not have been more planned or intentional. She was wanted!
Fast forward, one divorce and a second marriage later, there I was in a marriage with his angry ex-wife and three (3) step-children. By the time I was 27 years old I had two (2) marriages and two (2) divorces under my belt. At the rate I was going I could have been married three (3) times by age 30. I remember being consciously aware of that fact and putting the brakes on my Life and moving my Life in a new direction. I started college at age 27, went full time and stayed 7-1/2 years, racked up a couple of bachelor's degrees and a doctorate.
Now I'm 58, my daughter is 38 and my grandson is 16. He has his license, a job and a girlfriend. When I was 37 my daughter was graduating from high school. My Life was manifesting pretty much according to how my 20 year-old brain thought it out. I just didn't expect all of the other bumps along the way.
Fast forward again, now I'm 58 years old, I don't have small children to care for or small grandchildren to watch. I don't have a full-time job to go to except this yoga studio. I don't have even close to what these other yogi's have going on because of how I set-up my Life 45 years ago and now it looks the way that it does. I have nothing else to do but be here. Oh I have my freedom and plenty of time to do as I please. Now when someone wonders how I can teach four (4) yoga classes a day (or more), what they don't understand is I don't have the same Life juggle that other people do. Heck, I don't even sit in traffic like other people do. I'm either at home or I'm here (at the studio). After I teach a class, I have lots of time to re-group before I teach another one. I have this Life now where I can take time in-between classes to rest, re-set and re-group to be ready for the next set of yogi's who are living the juggle of Life that I have previously lived. Who knew it would all fall into perfect place? God only knew, that's Who!
Due to the consequences in the sequences and the sequences in the consequences in my Life resulting from my choice back in 1975, here I am living my simple Life holding space for those with more busy and complicated lives. I look back to the times when I was shuffling around 4 children (his 3 and my 1) to 3 different schools and packing lunches and getting kids to games and laundry and being a room mother and a den mother... and oh by the way, we had custody of his 3 children, so now I can relate to the yogi's who are juggling several children, a job, a marriage, an ex- of their own and ex- of their spouse, along with always have to dealing with the family court and all the drama that goes with it. Oh I earned the t-shirt and the crown on that one. (winky wink)
There is so much I can relate to with the yogi's that I have lived through since 1975 in order for me to show up here as a space-holder of Peace and Love while they are running through the door from jobs, children, school, etc., just looking for a safe and quiet space to land.
I understand my role in this studio and why I had to go through so much bullshit in order to get to the space I needed to be. And gosh, I haven't even mentioned anything before 1975 that got the ball rolling for me to show up at that party in the first place. I now see that I had to earn my stripes to be here, in this safe and Loving space, so I could actually relate to the people who were walking through the door. While I set my Life up early on with an awareness that was based on my freedom, I can now see why that feeling was implanted in my soul. I am in a position to be here all the time for the people who wish to enjoy this space and the offerings in it.
I am so grateful for the consequences in the sequences and the sequences in the consequences that got me to the place that I needed to be. I made my choices deliberately and intentionally ... and here I am, in this way, as a result.
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