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| DEAR DR. STANDLEY
Accepting Others |
I hope you can help me. I have a friend who has the most irritating laugh I have ever heard in my life.
She sounds worse than nails on a blackboad. When we are out somewhere and she laughs, the whole place turns to see if something is wrong. I've tried to be tactful, but she just won't take a subtle hint. How should I proceed?
Thanks,
No Name
No Location
Great question! I have also dealt with this gnawing issue all my Life. My laugh has been complimented, mocked and even complained about on the radio. Many people get a kick out of it and say that I sound like a little girl and others just flat out think it is fake. I have been shushed, yelled at and even pinched to get me to stop laughing as a child, as well as, in my adult Life. Naturally, I cannot help but be a little suspicious of this e-mail as to whether it is coming from a radio show listener and whether it is really about me. :)
Even so, I choose not to take this e-mail personal and assume that this e-mail is really about you and how you deal with others. It is not about your friend, it is about you. As you sit and read this e-mail . . . ponder these things that I ask . . . ponder them slowly as you scroll down the page . . . . as slow as you possibly can before moving on to the next question:
Begin scrolling down this page slowly . . .
What is your favorite type of book to read? Is it biographies, history, science, health, spirituality?
What is your favorite type of movie to see? Do you like drama, action-adventure, comedy, sci-fi, western, porn?
Where do you like to go on vacation? If you could choose your favorite spot to go without any influence from
someone else . . where would that be?
And how do you like to wear your hair? Do you part it down the middle, on the side or comb it straight back?
Do you have hair?
What type of restaurant do you like to go to? If the choice was only yours, where would you go out to eat?
Do you drink alcohol? If so, how do you act when you consume it?
Who is your diety? Do you practice your faith in a diety or do you merely say that you believe in something?
What does your walk look like?
What do you look like when you run?
What is your kiss like?
How do you show others that you love them? What do you do?
How do you hold a fork and eat your food?
What do you sound like when you eat something very very hot?
How do you behave when you are angry? Do you throw things, abuse someone, abuse yourself, cry . . . . or go
to a quiet space and think.
What do you sound like when you are angry? Do you scream, yell or try to talk things out?
How do you behave when you are happy?
What do you do that others know you are happy?
What makes you sad . . . really really sad?
And how would anyone know that you are sad?
What does your voice sound like? What does it sound like when you are angry . . . happy . . . . or sad . . . .?
What does your laugh sound like?
Contempate all of these things about you . . . and imagine for a moment trying to change one thing about you.
Try to change one of those things that make you ... YOU. Try to change one of those things that make you so
unique and different and that possibly irritate someone else.
Now imagine what it is like to change someone else.
My advice to you is to be comfortable with who you are and it will be easier
to accept others for who they are.
A kajillion blessings to you. E-mail me anytime
