Osda Sunalei [Good Morning in Cherokee]
LOVE ON THE BRAIN
Love seems to be on the brain of a lot of people right now as Venus (Love and beauty) sits in Leo (romance, intimacy and dating). As humans we have this pattern of holding on to Love that is not there or chasing Love that is no longer there. I think we are in Love with a man/woman because of the way they make us feel or for the way they made us feel at one time in our Life. Sometimes when Love is gone, we hold on to the memory of how we felt when we were "In Love," and we long for that kiss, touch and intimacy once again. This is particularly true if a "Love" no longer makes us feel Good about ourselves, but we stay in it just longing to "get back that Lovin' feelin'."
This reminds me of Persephone in the movie Matrix Reloaded. Persephone offers to help Neo and the others, but not before he passionately kisses her like he means it (so that she can once again feel passion). When she pulls away from Neo her eyes are still closed, her mouth is still a bit open and you can sense her breathing and pounding heart. Then she says, "Ahh, yes. That's it." with her sexy accent and full luscious lips.
When Love loses its passion and intensity, I am convinced that is what we are aching for . . . the passion and closeness we once knew. We want a repeat performance. We want to feel THAT way again. Ah, there is nothing like the stimulation of a first kiss. The anger that can set in between two people when the passion is lost can be unbearable and frankly I don't understand how two people can co-exist in anger and call that Love, much less a relationship. The Merovingian in the Matrix Reloaded said, "It is remarkable how similar the pattern of Love is to the pattern of insanity." Love does tend to make us a bit insane.
Here's a news flash folks -- anger will not win you back passion. I have said it before and I will say it again, "Anger is not Love!" It is everything but Love. If you think treating someone harshly will help your relationship grow stronger and more in Love, guess again. In fact, it will push them further away. I was chatting with a client once who had done something very sneaky and hurtful to his girlfriend and he was having a hard time winning her back over. I told him that he had revealed a very ugly side of himself to this woman and now she know's who he is and what he is capable of doing. He had proved this to her through his actions. I asked him, "Did that look like Love to you?". . . "Did you think you would look more attractive and appealing to her?" I was chatting with another man once when his cell phone rang and it was his wife. I could hear her voice and when he hung up I said, "She sounds nice." He said, "You know how you know when someone is pretending to be nice? She's fake! That's my wife! A fake!" Considering the topic we had been discussing I said, "Well, it looks like the two of you were made for each other."
Two people who were made for each other
and two people who deserve each other
can show up in many different ways.
We have all been in relationships that were hurtful and taught us some serious lessons in Love and I do believe that you should be clear on what Love looks like to you because you will attract your equal. Granted some enablers will attract a Love with a chemical dependency, a gambling addiction or a cheating addiction. On some level there is equality that is taking place in order to keep the relationship going and until they have resolved why this had to happen, the relationship will probably continue as is. These relationships take place in order to learn from a pattern they experienced in childhood so that they can clear it as an adult. Yowza!
Ask yourself, "Am I the person that I want to attract?"
When someone is in between relationships I always try to encourage them to stay unattached for at least 90 days or until there is a better planetary placement for Love to take place. I often ask those recently unattached if who they are right now is who they want to offer a new Mr. or Miss Wonderful because you will definitely attract who you are. Folks, there is no better place to be than unattached for a reasonable period of time after a break-up. In this way you can bump yourself up to a new level of attraction and again, you will attract who you are. You need to give yourself enough time to evaluate your pattern in relationships so that you can break your own cycle of dependence.
Persephone also said to Neo and Trinity, "You love her. She loves you. It's all over you both." Certainly relationships go through all kinds of challenges but Love should still show up as Love and if it is Love it will be written all over not just one of you . . . but BOTH of you. "Ahh, yes. That's it.