July 11, 2006 was one year since John died. I asked myself what I was going to do on the one year anniversary of John's passing on to eternal life and his rebirth with Jesus. The first thing that crossed my mind was to have a big celebration and call it, "Remembering John Gerwitz and Celebrating His First Year Safely Home." I wanted it to be a positive, up-beat, joyful celebration, just like John lived his Life. A celebration . . . Remembering John. A celebration of John’s First Year Safely Home. Yes, a celebration all about Jesus and John's life with Him. So that's what I did. It was tremendous!

Before the big one year celebration, I wanted to make sure that John’s name was in the Church Bulletin Mass Intentions on July 11th. I also wrote a memoriam with John picture for the July 11th St. Louis Post Dispatch. It read . . .

At John's one year celebration I wanted to have a Moment of Silence and have it at exactly 4:30 PM (the exact minute John died) followed by a Prayer Service and a monarch butterfly release. So, I asked my friend, Loretta, who brought John and I Communion everyday while John was in hospice, to do the Moment of Silence and a Prayer Service similar to the one she did with us when John was in hospice. I ordered 100 monarch butterflies and asked that the butterflies were put in individual envelopes labeled, "Remembering John and Celebrating His First Year Safely Home". Also, if you’ll remember, John wanted everyone to get a "goodie bag” at his Memorial Service.

The goodie bag contained a DVD, a tree seedling, flower seeds, bottle rockets, a Stag beer, etc. Then at the one year anniversay celebration (7/11/06) everyone received a “goodie bag” as well. It contained a candle with John's picture on it to be used in prayer, (similar to what Pope John Paul II mourners brought to send messages and Love to the deceased pope), a seedling to plant in memory of John and a reminder of eternal Life, bottle rockets of course, some prayer cards with hopeful messages and a typed explanation of each goodie. Also, a typed story of an ADC (After Death Communication) butterfly experience I had shortly after John died along with the story of a chalice that was donated in John’s name. There was a “Remembrance Book” for everyone to write down the names of their deceased loved ones and the book was give to a priest who will mention them in daily mass for a year. Doing all this gave me plenty to do to occupy my time and mind for the time leading up to the one year anniversary.

The one year celebration was on a Tuesday, July 11, 2006. It was an open house that started at 3:00 PM so people could be there for the 4:30 PM Moment of Silence followed by the Prayer Service. That Tuesday was a crazy day and even though it was a workday, I just had to do it on the exact date and exact minute that John died. The celebration was on the roof of an 18 story high-rise condo building on Skinker Avenue. Everyone stepped out of the elevator into a very spacious glass living room, dining room and bar area with decks on three sides which looked directly at a gorgeous panoramic view of Forest Park, downtown St. Louis, Clayton, north and south city.

There were a few last minute things that caused concern, mostly the weather, but everything unfolded nicely and the weather couldn't have been better. Everything worked out perfect with the valet parking even with so many showing up about the same time. My mom and friend Christine prepared the food-trays and the presentation couldn't have been nicer. Another friend Greg, set up the cocktails and his nephew tended bar, which was very nice. You know the Catholics can drink. Smile. Loretta’s Prayer Service and the butterfly release were the best part and totally awesome. For the remainder of the evening my cousin Jim's band played and everyone mingled, socialized and told more John-stories.

The 4:30 PM Moment of Silence and Prayer Service was on the main deck. Loretta had a microphone so everyone could hear, as if Loretta needed a microphone. Everything she had to say was so important. The service was up beat and inspiring. It was all about Jesus, John, all of our deceased loved ones and prayer. Loretta started with . . .

Loretta looked at me . . . and then I said, "John Francis Gerwitz, my husband and my best friend" then I mentioned my dad and my grandparent’s names. Loretta mentioned her other grandson's name 'Nick' who had passed a couple of years earlier. He was a twin that died at birth two years earlier. Then one by one, people just call out their loved ones name and how long they'd been gone. Twenty to thirty people participated. It was so very beautiful and touching. As the last name was called the melodious alarm on my watch went off. It was perfect, it was exactly 4:30 PM. My watch is set to go off everyday at 4:30 PM and I stop whatever I'm doing to say, The Lord's Prayer. I do the same thing everyday at 3:00 PM the hour Jesus died. Loretta does the same thing, too. At 4:30 PM Loretta asked everyone to pause in silence and remember that it was at this exact moment, one year ago, that John passed from this world to Eternal Life with Jesus. It was one full minute for the Moment of Silence. It was a powerful and very emotionally moving experience.

After the Moment of Silence, Loretta talk about the time that she had spent with John and I during his last few months. Loretta brought John and I Communion everyday and did a “mini-mass” (obviously not a Mass but that’s what we called it) and she shared the details of this daily event with everyone and said for her it was an incredible spiritual journey. Loretta elaborated that during our “mini-mass” she would asked a mentation question, give a quote, say an affirmation, read a prayer she'd written and all of these had to do with the days daily readings in our Catholic faith. After that, Loretta continued with the daily reading, we received Communion and then went on to have conversation about the reading. She also shared with everyone that The Lord's Prayer was the last prayer that John said in its entirety. The night before he died and the only words John spoke on the day he died were, "Amen, Amen". Both times he said "Amen" was after we had prayed The Lord's Prayer.

Below is the mentation question, quote, affirmation, and prayer, including The Lord's Prayer that Loretta presented at the one year celebration “Remembering John and Celebrating His First Year Safely Home”.

MENTATION QUESTION: Father, how do you want us to pray? What do you want us to say? Will you teach us how to pray and what we need to say?

QUOTE: Alfred Lord Tennyson said in, The Passing of Arthur, "If thou shouldst never see my face again, pray for my soul. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams."

AFFIRMATION: I believe God hears my prayers and answers me.

PRAYER: Father, Your Son Jesus said, "If ye shall ask anything of Me in My name, I will do it." I now realize that when I end my prayers by saying, "Though Jesus Christ's name I pray," that I need to believe that these words hold Truth. Most Holy and Ever-Loving Father, from now on I will firmly believe the words that Jesus spoke without hesitation or reservation and hold them in my heart with Truth, Faith and Love. Through Jesus Christ's Name and Most Holy Face I pray. Amen~

Loretta went on to read the scripture Matthew 6:5-15 about how to pray and about when Jesus said, "This is how you pray: Our Father . . . . . . . . . " at that moment the whole crowd, together, aloud, said The Lord's Prayer. Then Loretta told about how John and I released butterflies at our wedding and what they’d symbolized; new beginnings, transformation, reincarnation, the birth-death-rebirth cycle, freedom, peace, love and after death communications. She went into more details about the transformation, what that means to Native American Indians (Loretta's Cherokee Indian), the spiritual change, how butterflies deliver prayers/messages to heaven and then Loretta said a prayer about all that. She ended it with, "The butterflies wings are holding our prayers for John and all our loved ones and we are sending them directly to You. Through Jesus Christ's Precious, Pure and Holy name, I praise You and thank You in advance". We all did the sign of the cross and everyone said, “Amen, Amen." As a side note -- on the day John died, after those around him prayed, meditated and repeatedly prayed The Lord’s Prayer, "Amen, Amen" were the only words John spoke on the day he died. I took the microphone, thanked everyone for coming, being such good friends with him and celebrating his Life with me.

Then everyone was given a butterfly, whispered a message to their Loved ones and opened the envelope to release their butterfly. Since butterflies are so playful and friendly, everyone was able to play with their butterfly for a few moments before it flew off to find nectar. While everyone was still gathered and telling "John stories", the music started. My cousin Jim, and his band played. They started their first set with the song, "Live Like You're Dying," which was actually John’s motto. And yes, John most definitely lived his life just as the words to the song are sung. And as you can probably imagine, most people stayed for the entire celebration. The moment of silence, prayer service and butterfly release was more than I envisioned.

It was an awesome celebration. Everyone got it! They understood the purpose of it all. Yes, a celebration all about Jesus and John and about all of our loved ones who are now with Jesus. And, for me, it was a really great day.

God bless you always,
Love, Julie

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